Sparta hates freedom

The number of Americanised illicit references to 'freedom' in the film 300 (which, by the way, isn't anywhere near as bad as I wanted it to be) made me want to remember more about the battle of Thermopylae. So I hunted down my copy of Herodotus' histories and found the following - The three hundred were pretty famous and yes, they were all Spartan warriors. But at Platea, the Spartan army numbered 45,000. Of those, 5,000 were Spartan warriors. So who were the other 40,000?

Well who'd have though it. Slaves and peasants!

FREEDOM!

Pox Americana

Some doctors and researchers believed that Edgar Allen Poe was a carrier of Tuberculosis. Nearly everyone he had sustained, intimate contact with contracted the illness, and all of them died.

Like Poe, a cruel disease follows my path, spreading to my housemates and eventually killing them. This disease is Mononucleosis, known to your people as Glandular Fever. Last year, Andrew Lynch was lost to us; he fought valiantly, but in time the illness tore the life from his body. And now Gabe, my current roommate, is suffering the same fate. When will the bloodshed end? When will the agony stop?

I just can't fathom it.

Is this a good idea?

The 'learn all of the capital cities of all of the countries in the world' challenge.

Pretty self explanatory. Why? Because then you can convince people how cool you are by telling them you know the capital city of every country in the world and then getting them to ask you.¹

Rules:

1) Countries only. None of this dependent territories crap.
2) The unerring and unquestionable authority on this is Wikipedia.
3) Where at all possible, try to learn some kind of funny fact about the country/capital in question².
4) Use your new found powers for good, not evil.

I'm as far as Andorra. Capital city: Andorra la vella. This is going to be well easy.

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1. Failing that, if you ever need to be diagnosed as being autistic, this is a sure fire way.
2. For example, Astana (Capital of Kazakhstan) literally translates as "Capital City". Most people would tell you the capital city of Kazakhstan is Almaty, but they'd be wrong. It used to be, but they changed it to purpose built Astana. Probably because Almaty means something ridiculous about apples. ('Father apple', or 'The apple that provides for us'.)

I'm so Indie it hurts

I'm prepared to say that this is the greatest love song I've heard recently. What's even better, the creator is as much a filthy hippy as me and so it's available for free download. Let me rephrase that: the compulsory price is zero dollas. If you want, you can give some money to a guy who's attempting to proove that the internet allows terrible financial decisions to become viable lifestyles. It's a cause I believe in.

I have been relatively silent for a while, mainly because I've been too dehydrated of creativity to feel that I should post anything I've encountered in life recently. Unless you're particularly interested in Jewish political history, of course. But I thought that you should all know that Mansfield's JCR motto, 'from the sublime to the ridiculous' was used in this evening's episode of The Archers. I'm sure it was a direct reference.

Exacerbating circumstances

The most infurating task ever to be burdened with has to be helping one's mother¹ sign up for a Skype account. I am going to broaden this to 'explain anything at all to do with technology to one's mother, who continues to blame her inability to understand the most basic concepts on the fact that she's fifty'. Incidentally, my dad has a computer science degree, so why she can't ask him I don't know. But back to my mother!

Not only is she the most painfully slow (and inaccurate) typist in history, but she barely understands how it is she is managing to aim spelling atrocities at me via my brother's MSN messenger account. I'm saving the concept of automated sign-in for another day. Frankly, she's still struggling with the basics, the internet equivalent of not being sure which hand is left and which one's right (there's a trick to that one²). Anyway, so once I've gone over the reason they ask for your email address³ and explained to her that there's no reason for me to send her her password via text message rather than msn (the Russkies will be monitoring text messages too you know!) I am rapidly losing patience, especially as I can apparently assume no base level of knowledge, despite my family having had internet access since 1997.

Anyway, I'd continue, but I just uttered the phrase "Well, you just plug it into the USB port" and I suspect this is going to take a little while to explain.

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1. Real mother, not the mother that first placed me in a boat.
2. It's "stop being retarded". I bet you thought I was going to say you can make an L with the index finger and thumb of your left hand. Common misconception - that L doesn't stand for Left. It stands for Loser, which you are if you still have to do this.
3. I'm starting to think it's a really a base-level IQ test.

So much for Alaska...

Due to some strange coincidences and my insane need to pack all of my things in suitcases and move every few months, I'm going to be working in Shanghai this summer. Next year is still up in the air: I may be in graduate school, working as a researcher, finding a job in government, or taking a year off from school while applying for a Masters program. I mention this because - while I know travel is difficult for impoverished ex-Mansfielders (like myself, otherwise I certainly would have visited England this year) - I would love to have guests. If any of you are in the area (Asia), let me know, and I will be happy to give you free food and lodging, making it a cheap way to see China. During mid-August (when my work is finished), I intend to travel a bit around the country. Feel free to join me.



Today's post is an exercise in procrastination; I'm in the midst of a thesis project that needs to make serious progress before Friday, the day Matt makes his annual visit. Sadly, no matter how many times I win Civilization 4, I'm still left without a perfect understanding of my topic. You'd think it would help.

Our common link...

...Mansfield. As the last of us to leave this cocoon of safety, this last bastion of eccentricity before people in the real world start asking us pressing questions like "You what?" and "Why are you wearing that stupid hat, it makes you look like a student", I feel obliged to appreciate it while I am here. As a friend once said, "You moan about it the whole time you're there, but you'll miss it like air once you're gone".

Sure, it may be poor. It may be small. It might be portrayed in the papers as being populated entirely by homophobic six year olds¹. But when you see something like the KFC Megabucket Challenge, it warms the heart, it really does. Six men, men of Mansfield, racing to finish a KFC megabucket meal including four large fries and 1.5l of carbonated beverage of choice.

Is there a nobler sport than competitive eating?

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1. Like after open mic night, when the JCR was allegedly filled with crowds of angry students singing "Paul Lodge loves it up the arse".

I am not a hippy

I have been an Environmental Engineer for almost six months. This might lead you to assume three things.

1. I own sandals and/or a poncho
2. I have facial hair
3. I listen to the Polyphonic Spree.

In this, you would be correct. However, beards and 6-minute tracks about sunshine do not a hippy make¹.

Allow me to quote from the "Overview" page of Module Seven in my taught Masters course notes.

"Nature runs on sunlight. Humankind runs on fossil fuels"
I see what you're saying, but industrial society runs on fossil fuels. Humankind runs on sweet potatoes and diet coke and pankeggs².

"Nature uses only the energy it needs. Humankind waste massive amounts of energy"
Firstly, "humankind" is singular in my book. Also, I'm not sure what you consider "nature". Or, for that matter, "waste". Does sunlight reflected into space count as a neccesary expense? Plus, nature increases its needs to match availability. Bear this in mind as we continue.

"Nature fits form to function. Humankind forces Nature's form to fit it's own function"
I agree that form matches function in most cases, but that's because useless forms tend to be mowed down and eaten. Actually, this isn't always the case. Plus, we're not the only species that does this whole form-to-function thing. In fact, aren't those two statements the same? How else did form fit function if not by being made to?

"Nature recycles everything. Humankind recycles next to nothing"
I should have guessed when you capitalised the word "Nature" in the last bullet point, but I think our worldviews are quite different. I'd define Nature as being the biosphere, that is, the closed system formed by the earth. As such, it has to recycle everything by definition: if it didn't, it wouldn't be nature. Moreover, Humanity is a subset of nature³. Humanity, like all species, is a waterwheel. We extract our existence from a flow of energy and material. Any subset of nature must have imperfect recycling, so that some matter is flowing to and from the rest of the system.
Also, if you mean that life recycles everything, why are there billions of tonnes of organic carbon buried in the crust? Is Humankind doing its part in recycling it back into the atmosphere?

"Nature rewards cooperation. Humankind idolises competition"
OK, now I know for sure that we have different theories of the world. I always thought that it was people who liked cooperation, and nature that said, metaphorically, "Compete. If co-operating is the best way to keep the other bastards down, do that."

"Nature banks on diversity. Humankind opts for monculture, destroys diversity"
Well, it's true that agriculture has a tendency to make this mistake. You know what, I'll concede this point.

"Nature curbs excesses from within. Humankind celebrates excess; greed is good"
Actually, the way that nature curbs excesses is the same way we generally do. Anything that can desire, desires more. It's only humans who can think about that and consciously decided they need less. Case in point: we are the only species to practice contraception. Also, I'm fairly sure most dictionaries put "bad" somewhere in the definition of "greed". I think it might even have made the Top Ten Sins or whatever.

"Nature taps the power of limits. There are no limits, says mankind"
Um... the power of limits, you say? Well, all I will say is that Toucan Broadband know all about limits, even on their "Unlimited service". If they didn't, I'd be in a better mood right now.

Reading this module has given me an insight into how Conservatives must feel all the time.

Maybe I ought to return my tie-dye kit.

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1. Does anyone know the origin of this construction? I figure it's either Yoda, Winston Churchill, or Germany.
2. The food of kings and the king of foods.
3. Maybe you disagree. It's OK, lots of people do.

Revelations

I had a bit of a surprise today. I realized that The Shins' album, 'Oh, inverted world' actually has more than one track on it. And some of them are good! Check it out, kids!

This fits in rather nicely with my idea of the day¹, which is actually less of an idea and more of a question. Where do I fit in?

If you believe everything you read, there are two types of people at Oxford. There are people from extremely privileged backgrounds who aren't very bright, but got in because their daddy used to play silly buggers with the tutor². The other kind are the studious, hard working and extremely bright diamonds-in-the-rough, 'doesn't know how to use cutlery but you should see what he's got to say about T.S. Eliot' who studies by candle light wearing fingerless gloves and scrapes and saves to afford a can of baked beans a week. Actually, that's communists.

When one of the former gets rejected, nobody but Daddy cares. When one of the latter gets rejected, people get angry.

What about us? I went to a private school, which should put me firmly in the toff category. But wait - I had my fees paid by the government from 11 onwards because my dad was a full time student. And in school I outperformed a lot of girls paying full fees. So it's ok, guys, I'm back in the poor and deserving category.

But let's examine results. Because I'm such a charity case, I have to do better than all my other private school friends. This is frankly not happening. I'm working hard this year to pull up to a 2:1 not because I am driven by the plight of my situation, but because I am vain and my grandad will get angry if I don't get one. Maybe if I ask my parents to suddenly lose all their disposable income, my results will pick back up?

My point really is that I don't fit in anywhere in the above scenario. Most of my friends are the same. Partly I think it's disillusionment from coming up to a college with an excellent college spirit but very little in the way of facilities. Or maybe it's because this fictional Oxford just doesn't exist any more.

Either way, I've succeeded in confusing myself. And now it's time for dinner.

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1. Because the album is all about confusion and conflicting bittersweet emotions all wrapped up in the pain of reaching adulthood realizing you're meant to be somehow 'grown up'. At least, that's how I hear it.
2. "His father and I used to break wind for our college" - General Melchett, Blackadder goes forth.