Jimmy Carter Oh Em Gee

Jimmy Carter, southern gent and one of my all-time favourite Presidents, is going to be giving a lecture in Oxford this summer, and a fair few of us here are invited.

What does anyone know about this Hands Lecture business? Am I going to have to comb my hair? Should I shine my shoes? Will I have a chance to shake his hand? Would it be appropriate to wear Jimmy Carter merchandise?

When I argue I see shapes

That's a lie. But when I shut my eyes at the moment all I see is boats going past me. On the plus side, now they're rowing well.

When I open my eyes I either see revision or the guilt of non-revision. Probably the most nauseating aspect of blogging is the much-used phrase "hey guys, sorry I haven't updated recently..." as if anyone reads¹, but I feel an explanation, if not an apology, may be relevant as anyone who didn't know better might think I'd jumped off a cliff considering how much I write normally.

So anyway, topical observations - oral sex gives you cancer? Little known fact - it also gives you second hand cancer if you're in the same room as someone else doing it.

More to the point, everything that someone somewhere enjoys doing² will eventually give you cancer. Luckily, I don't think it's going to put anyone off. In the words of some James Bond baddie, 'there's no point in living if you can't feel alive' - although the Christian Right may argue otherwise.

On a less topical point, Scotty has been beamed back to Earth. Of course, we've only got his word for it that he made it to space at all. I'm skeptical.

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1. Self-loathing is my forte.
2. Sorry, I mean receiving.

War heroes and men of letters

The death of dear Jerry and a fit of Wikipedia has left me wonderin'. I wonder, specifically, how the Deep Reds¹ (as I like to call 'em) see Britain. I figure it's a fifty-fifty mix of admiration for all the wars we've fought together and contempt for all the wars we've fought.

In any case, I wonder how the Megachurch folk would react to what I have just read on Wikipedia: our TV-watching population voted Darwin (who you may remember from the £10 note) number four in the list of "Great Britons". While we're on the topic, quite a few of my picks didn't make the top 100, but I am very glad to see number 28 make an appearence. And America, you'll probably be interested to know that we found room for Thomas Paine. I'm not sure what he'd have made of that.

1. YOU DECIDE.

Heresy in a Box

I always thought I would have been more like Zeus. Perhaps 'cause I always liked the Greeks. Oh well. I'm not sure how which finger I picked, or how I like my one, matters much, but since this is on the tinternet, it must be scientific. I must say, though, I'm not turned off by omnipotence.

Which God or Goddess are you like? Your Result: Jesus You are God's lovechild. You love all and most love you. You help those who need it, and those too. The girls all chase you, and some boys too. You love to have fun, but you keep a serious life of working as well.Congratulations!! You are Christ!!
The Christian God
Budha
Goddess Bast
You are your own God or Goddess
Goddess Sekhemet
God Zeus
Satan
Which God or Goddess are you like? Make Your Own Quiz

And I have to say, whomever added "Child-like sense of wonder" to the labels, that's pretty much perfect for me. So kudos to you.

Send a droid

Sometimes, Science runs up against a brick wall. This tends to happen quite a lot in biology, what with their "high-level non-linear" jazz.¹ Let's say you want to know which combinations of protein folds and seasonings cause or cure, say, AIDS or cancer or whatever. Hey, I have an idea! Let's just try 'em all and check each one!

Back in the day, we had obsessive men of science like Tycho Brahe and that Napier guy. They advanced the cause of human endeavour by doing the same calculations over and over in minutely varying circumstances and making enormous tabloes of numbers. Today, we have robots to do the work of OCD aristocrats.

The idea is to let your computer do serious work instead of runnin' a screensaver. If the "good of humanity" angle doesn't strike a chord, think of it as an MMO: a series of slowly-filling progress bars that earn you arbitrary numbers of meaningless points. And there are no recurring fees!

In the last few days my computer has done about 30 hours of computation, in between me watchin' old episodes of Johnathan Creek and reading internet forums² about toast. Coincidentally, in that time I've worked 24 hours. Blarggh.

1. Honestly guys, it's much easier when you're trying to work out the properties of a single proton and a single electron in an infinite empty universe. Make a note of that.
2. Fora?

Dear America,

I just thought I'd write this letter to warn you. You are about to get invaded. Over the years, the cream of British talent, the finest minds, the best actors, the greatest sportsmen have been exported to Hollywood to make their place in the world. This year, they're all staying in the U.K., and you're getting Danielle Lloyd.

You've seen a few bad imports recently. Jordan and Peter or David and Victoria to name a few. This girl was actually Miss Great Britain, but she was stripped of her title for shagging one of the judges. Since then, stripping has become her thing. Her career seemed to profit from her involvment in the alleged racist attacks on 'Celebrity' Big Brother.

Please make sure she has plenty of clothes to wear, and maybe someone to help her dress herself - she seems to find it difficult, poor thing. I really hope she finds happiness in the U.S., so there's no chance she'll ever come back here.

Yours sincerely,

Alyssa

Exoplanets surprise scientists by obeying the fundamental laws of physics

Hurrah for Gliese 581c, the most compelling 'evidence' yet that there is life outside our solar system. Apparently it's something like a similar size to the Earth (R ~ 1.5 Re), and within the Goldilocks zone, the suspiciously named region of orbital radius within which temperatures are reasonable for life. The implications of these are succinctly summarised by the Science experts at the Daily Mail, who can reveal that Gliese 581c has "the same climate as Earth, plus water and gravity".

Well, this IS shocking stuff - Planets with gravity?

They'll be giving off radiation next.